HELPING HANDS RESOURCE CENTER 

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Systems need to change

Posted by helpinghandsagainstdv. on July 16, 2014 at 8:05 PM
Today left me numb, coming in contact with a family that has been totally ignored by police and social services. We had to step in and make our own report! Thank God now they are listening, but it's not ok how they have been ignored! As an organization I see how we must educate systems to truly help victims. We must be trauma informed to know how to help them. If you are unaware of trauma you will damage the family more. Please get informed

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3 Comments

Reply Caseyaluro
4:44 PM on August 13, 2017 
More info!..
Reply Karen
2:52 PM on August 12, 2014 
Martha, I total agree with you. The courts endanger the other parent that is afraid of the abuser. We must educate others of the pattern of abuse and violence and how to stop it. I believe if we give our society more awareness of this plague, in time a lot can change, We need to bring healing into our communities.
Reply Martha
2:35 PM on August 12, 2014 
I have fought courts for 10 years. These days it seems criminals have more rights than the victims, and it's really sad to see mothers who are truly trying to rebuild being dragged down by judges with poor common sense and who do not look at the history, to include mental health issues that can put mother and children in serious danger. It isn't shocking to see why most victims go back to the abuser; it is in many ways more frighting for women to know the law can be use against them and be treated as if they have no righto fight back for their safety and freedom. I am currently researching to see how we can change the restraining order where it gives abused women the opportunity to rebuild. So far, you can ask anyone, and most women do not feel protected by the restraining order, the abuser can violate the order multiple times but if a violent act is not taken, the violations to the retraining order are not taken serious and no charges are filed. The retraining order should give the protected people in it the right to be protected with NO modifications until either the order expires or it is petitioned by the victim herself. When a retraining order is in place, the father of the kids can request a modification to see the kids and is usually granted; first, through monitored visitations that are actually a joke because they are usually granted for two to four weeks when the order is modified again to non monitored, and a couple of months after that overnights. They are putting the victim in a situation where she has to be in direct contact with abuser, where she can be followed. As you say, the system needs to change, we have to start with small changes where victims can actually feel protected rather than bullied in court because the father is "showing good behavior" , what do they know about behind doors? well...may be, just may be if the take the time to review the file they could see there is usually a pattern, and more important if there are police or hospital reports and mental health issues. The judges should not over look this facts just because as I have been told before "it's already in the past, he's doing good now"